Literally. The ones that have been assaulting me since summer, that is.

I have no idea exactly what kind of flies they are but they’re probably about 4 times smaller than houseflies and about as many times bigger than sandflies, or no-see-um’s. While we do have our fair share of the latter, they don’t seem to bother me much when I’m outside doing yardwork. For the most part, they leave me alone, it’s the mid-sized, as-of-yet-unnamed biters that torment me.

Today, while trying to clear a path through some bushes, I was left alone at first and I thought maybe I’d get lucky and they’d leave me alone. For once. After letting me live in that wistful, delusional world for about a minute, they then proceeded to swarm around my face, fly up my nose, into my mouth, into every orifice available. It’s quite fortunate that I was wearing pants, otherwise they might’ve found another place to fly up into.

They bit me on the face ruthlessly, drawing blood at least three times. Once on the side of my nose which proceeded to swell up and feel a little numb for a while.

I tried to work for as long as I could but after 1½ hours I’d had enough of being a human pincushion and fled.

Nothing seems to deter these flying little vampires, no amount of waving or arm thrashing keeps them away, and they seem completely impervious to bug spray. There doesn’t seem to be any escape from them, I encounter them no matter where I go in Kitamaat Village. The strange thing is, I don’t remember being bothered by them so much before this summer, now they instinctively flock to me like the salmon of Capistrano anytime I step outside.

Where did they come from? Why are there so bloody many of them? Why aren’t they dead yet when it’s almost winter? It’s bizarre and aggravating.

I’m quite sure that they have a proper name, I don’t what that could be but I call them PITA flies.

PITA is a term I’ve been using a fair bit lately. No, it has nothing to do with pocket bread.

I came up with it myself. It’s possible someone else might have thought of and used it before I did but I’m taking credit for it. It’s an acronym that stands for:

Pain-In-The-Ass.

If there’s a more fitting name for these pests, I have yet to hear it. They definitely deserve and live up to it.